Mothers Day

Mother's days a mixed bag for me. I miss my own mother who passed away 12 years ago. I'm sad I won't get to see my grand kids today. I love the effort my husband puts into trying to let me relax. I adore the homemade gifts and the memories of past years. I cherish the morning kisses and hugs. I cry over the things I never said to my mom. I laugh over the stories I share with my siblings about childhood. I worry about my sister who I haven't heard from in a year (CARLA if your out there CALL!!) I'm happy for my Friend Heather who's having her first mothers day today. I'm ticked off at my son who won't come out for dinner. I'm grateful to my stepmother who put up with me in my teens. I'm proud of my sister who is a single mother of three (and all you single mothers out there) I'm sulky that I still have to do laundry. I ache for the years I lost with LaRae. I'm mad at myself for not doing better, being better or trying harder. I conflicted about what the right thing is. I'm so very happy I was born a girl. I'm in awe that I grew these amazing people right in my tummy.

So that is how I feel today .... really .... quite motherish :)